By Joshua Jongema
The Upper Peninsula Libertarian Party (UPLP), on February 24th, participated in the Trenary Outhouse Classic in Trenary, Michigan. The weather was highly unusual for this annual race, because this year there was no snow on the ground. Meteorologists claim this unusually warm winter is caused by an El Niño event and is the result of warmer-than-usual temperatures in Pacific Ocean water. While El Niño can sometimes cause increased snow, this year has been far too warm for that, with some days in February being higher in temperature than many days last fall! To compensate for this, Trenary had to truck in snow from somewhere else, to set up its 100+ foot track down the middle of main street.
This appears to be the biggest event that occurs all year, in the small town in the middle of farm country. The crowd was in high spirits and dressed colorfully. Small town rules applied, as people up and down the street carried alcohol, and smoked various things, openly. This was a town where freedom reigned supreme, and so it was a great place to spread the message of liberty.
The UPLP outhouse was built by an expert carpenter, which resulted in it being built according to the specs, and with strength. On the way to the race, it flew off the back of a truck, but only ended up with a few bumps and bruises- now that is craftsmanship! The design for the ski attachment were drawn up by someone who admitted openly that he is not an engineer, which resulted in increased resistance on the racetrack. The UPLP outhouse may not have been built for racing, but it certainly did end up representing the reality of how difficult it is to push for liberty in this modern world.
The race was a long and arduous process. The two racers, Ryan Roberts and Joshua Jongema, began the day as proud warriors for liberty. After standing in line for over an hour and pushing the outhouse from the finish to the starting line, only to stand for another hour, they began to show weariness. Still, they showed great courage by pushing it down the track anyways, yelling “freedom” and “liberty” as they went, like a couple of William Wallaces. They admitted later that three quarters of the way down the track their legs turned to jelly, and they almost came to a dead stop, but just in time a third UPLP member, Jordan, ran in to rescue them. The three made it across the finish line with what seems to have been the longest time ever recorded in the history of the Trenary Outhouse Classic.
So, the race itself perfectly illustrated the plight of libertarians in every way. The outhouse was designed without racing in mind. There was no real preparation for the race at all. The race itself was the biggest loss ever recorded. Yet still, these passionate libertarians plan to go back next year better prepared, and with a lighter outhouse, and they will do so every year until they get it right.
